Why I Don’t Ask

I would really like to be a kinder employee. I would like to ask for time off when I know that I plan to take time off, because it’s the nice, polite thing to do. However, asking for time off puts you in a dangerous position. You see, when you ask, it gives someone the option of saying no, and a no can really fuck up the best plans.

This isn’t to say I have never asked for a day off work. I’ve asked for numerous days off during my illustrious career of doing as little as possible while simultaneously taking as much money as I can get. I have even had days approved.

But the fact holds, when it really really matters, I never ask.