Category — Oy Vey the Craziness!

A new book by Mark Bauerlein claims that this generation is the dumbest generation thus far. The internet is helping to shape a generation full of dolts and narcissists, future leaders who are ignorant of almost everything and yet feel terribly important. Is this hoopla? Hogwash? Nonsense? Or is there something to be said for an argument that kids today are unaware of essential knowledge, trading it in for having hundreds and hundreds of “friends” on social networking sites? Is it possible he’s just a little bit correct?

I know a kid who just graduated high school as valedictorian of his class and will be off to college this fall with a full ride scholarship. I recently had to tell him who Malcolm X was, explain to him what prohibition was, and, even after being told how to pronounce the word paradigm, he was certain that wasn’t correct because it looked like it was pronounced para-dig-um and that’s how he intended to pronounce it.

And he’s one of the smart ones.

My dad has recently gotten the first job that he’s ever loved. He is giving tours at a wildlife refuge. He started this job after retiring from the post office, a job that he never really loved. He’s sixty years old. And whenever people give me that look because they don’t understand why I won’t just settle on a job and stay put, I will think about the fact that I am never going to be that person who waits until they are sixty to have a job that is reasonably enjoyable. At least I hope not.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had a talking to, been on the receiving end of a look, or any other insinuation that I should be spending ALL of my time on the clock actually working, I’d have enough money to moon my boss and take my victory walk out of here. As it is, I don’t get paid for the pissiness of others. Damn shame.

Maybe I’m not the best judge of this, because I absolutely HATE working and feel that the American system of employment is an absolute crock, but I’m going to put it out there anyway –

Why do I have working hours AND a quota? Shouldn’t one suffice and shouldn’t it be quota? You see, the hourly wage system punishes people with the ability to work quickly. They end up turning out considerably more product in the same amount of time. How is that fair?

Wouldn’t it be more fair if there was a quota, that quota was the same across the board for everyone who did the same job, and that when you met the quota, you could leave, be it for the day or for the week? This system rewards people who are BETTER at their jobs. It makes sense.

Which is exactly why such a system will never be adopted.

I never feel very good when I’m working. It’s quite phenomenal really. I’m not an unhealthy person. I eat all the right things. I exercise regularly. Today, I was told that this seems to be mostly psychological in nature. Last night I had a fever, an actual fever. Yet, I don’t doubt this whole psychosomatic causation. I do hate working THAT much. So, clearly the power of my mind has the ability to heat up my body like a battery pack.

I must find a way to use this power for greater things than making myself sick.

Boobs. What’s not to like?

Big boobs. More to love.

Now, I’m not promoting breast augmentation. I’m also not, in any way, against it. I like to think that what you do with your own breasts is a personal choice, and it is fairly ridiculous for anyone who is not in the path of the scalpel to get in on the debate.

Here is a site that I found that I just think is damn funny. It is clearly promoting pornography and chat sex between consenting adults, but, um, consenting adults, so who cares? The important thing is, girls can get the boobs they want, and boys can help build something that they really care about. It’s a win-win.

The site is called My Free Implants. Beg for boobs or donate to the boob cause!

Warning: Read the disclaimer first. These guys have set up a lovely system for themselves. I have never seen the popular 80’s phrase “money for nothing and your chics for free” embodied quite so fully.