Category — So You Wanna Be...

This whole mess with the prostitution ring and Elliott Spitzer’s dust-up in it is really intriguing. I’m not shocked that a man would pay for sex. I am a little perplexed by the amount of money he paid for sex though. Over four grand at a time is a damn ridiculous amount of money, and it kind of makes me wonder where you can pick up an application for this kind of work, what the requirements are and such. I mean, seriously, this is good work if you can get it, and I don’t mind in the least that someone would be paying for my discretion instead of my fine ass.

Now to the real question…

Do you tip a prostitute? I wonder this not only for proper career planning, knowing how much I’ll be able to put away in a retirement fund for instance, but I also need to know in case I’m on the other side of the occasion.

Now, I would never personally pay for sex, but what if I get a gift call girl? You know, what if someone sends me one for Christmas or my birthday? Am I supposed to tip? Does it depend on what she does and how well she does it?

I feel so uninformed.

Big winter storm hits Ohio. What does that mean to a TV weathercaster? A much larger and more important role to play in the evening’s newscast. As I sat watching the nerdy, gayish guy do his spiel, I thought, what does one have to do to become a TV weathercaster? What qualifications do you have to have? What’s the path to weather greatness?

So, here goes…

Apparently, you don’t have to have any real qualifications. Anyone with the resources to make an audition tape can potentially talk weather on the local news. Just don’t forget to prove to them that you can do both sunshine and rain. If you can impress them with your awesome forecasting style and quirky good looks, you too can become the next… hm, hold on… trying to come up with a weather person who isn’t a complete douche. Nevermind. If weather is your thing, you too can become successful at the lamest job on television.

While education isn’t as necessary to become a weatherman as a fab suit and clever climate puns, many weather douches… er, casters… do in fact hold undergrad degrees in meteorology. Apparently, these exist. Some universities even have broadcast meteorology programs. Of course, then you have to be that person who actually grew up thinking “I want to do the weather”.

Anyway, it’s really just that simple, other than the fact that it’s extremely competitive, which means you weren’t the only one watching the Weather Channel with big, saucer eyes as a child. Oh, and most entry-level positions are part-time and pay like fifteen bucks an hour. Expect around twenty grand a year to start out.

Now might be the time to consider skipping the college loan payments and just get a job at Starbucks instead.

Of course, like most jobs, there is room to grow and work your way up. Just try not to get blown away by a tornado first.